AKA 5 Crew Members Who Found Out
by Maxegirl1313
Summary: ..About Kirk's violent past. WARNING: De-aged!Kirk, dealing with child abuse and neglect, swearing, and a teensy bit of non-explicit slash.


**Uhura**

The Bridge crew defiantly had their thoughts on how Kirk would act as a child. They knew he would be cute, mischievous and was probably a generally chatty child. Uhura was not excluded from these assumptions, in fact she felt as if she had the strongest grasp on how Kirk would be as child, if his behavior now had any relevancy what-so-ever in how he was a child. Turns out, it didn't.

Sure, the blond hair was the same, the eyes that shade of electric blue and the facial structure already predominant, but this kid simply wasn't the captain.

He was quiet, for one, too quiet. Quiet and Kirk generally weren't in the same sentence. He never complained, didn't answer, didn't eat, didn't do_ anything_.

Uhura absently reached out her hand to brush back Captia- Jim's (She had to remind herself) hair from his face. The child flinched back and scrambled his way to other side of the bed, nearly falling off.

Well, anything besides flinch or cringe.

Uhura mumbled an embarrassed apology before settling her gaze on his face once again. There were bruises decorating his cheeks and small scars on his arms. Apparently whatever had been done to Jim literally reduced his body back to this particular age. She wondered idly what could have cause these bruises; this behavior. Her thoughts drifted to his friends and family and the one time Kirk mentioned his step-father.

'He was a fucking conceited ass-hole," Jim had steadily told the crew, after being questioned by said people. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about him." He had told her in particular, his voice reassuring and cocky.

Oh. _Oh._

"McCoy," She hissed grabbing his arm and forcefully dragging him into his office.

"Dammit, woman! I'm a doctor. I have work to do!" Came his indignant reply. Uhura didn't even grace him with an answer.

She decided to cut straight to the point. "Kirk was abused as a child, I'm sure of it!" Her voice was angry and protective, and rather indignant, even to her.

There was silence.

It wasn't the silence Uhura had hoped, or even expected to hear. It wasn't indignant; it wasn't shocked, not even angry. Simply a deliberation period.

McCoy sighed deeply, obviously contemplating how to respond. Uhura didn't give him a chance, "You knew?! You didn't, _oh I don't know, _tell me?"

McCoy's eyes snapped up to meet Uhura's.

"And what? Just decide to announce Kirk's whole personal life to bridge crew? Want to know his favorite food and blood type as well?! There's this little thing called Doctor-Patient Confidentiality." There was more to it, she knew. Mccoy was both a doctor and a best friend. He was held by the tightest of bonds.

Uhura sighed deeply. "I just- I would have never…" She trailed off, at a lost.

McCoy sighed just as deeply, running a hand through his hair.

"I know. I _know_."

**2/3) Sulu&Chekov**  
It was now common knowledge about the captain's... predicament, and most people found it amusing. Sulu himself was rather apprehensive about having (what he assumed to be) a loud, nosy kid, who was too smart for his own good. So he kept tabs best he could on the child, calling for updates in intervals.

It had been nearly 10 hours since the captain came aboard the ship, in all of his de-aged glory. He hadn't eaten, slept and -as far Sulu knew- talked.

Uhura strode in, her hair training behind her like a whip, a look of poorly concealed rage haunting her features. Sulu winced. An angry Uhura made one of hell of a shift.

He vaguely wondered if the Captain somehow managed to piss her off, even as a child.

Bones trailed in behind her, a very young and small Jim clinging to his hand. As Sulu stared at Jim, he wondered how it was possible to get mad at him. Jim was, for one, an adorable child, all blond hair big blue eyed charm, for two, Jim appeared to be the smallest and most timid child Sulu had ever laid eyes on.

"Look, lieutenant, I don't know if this-" Bones began staring at the young boy.

Uhura simply shook her head. "Look McCoy you need sleep. We'll just distract him and you can slip off and sleep."

Sulu studied McCoy closely and agreed: he really needed sleep. His eyes were drooping and blood-shot, and there was a slouch to his stance.

"But the boy-" Hearing himself being talked about, Jim bowed his head and held on to McCoy's pant legs tightly.

"Go." Uhura's answer was short and brisk, an order rather than a request. Her eyes softened when she saw McCoy staring at Jim with paternal protectiveness. Sulu realized how hard this must be for the Doctor. Not only losing your best friend, but additionally having him be a constant reminder of his own daughter.

He remembered McCoy's drunken confession, and how for weeks after he started noticing the pictures of McCoy's daughter and little home-made crafts and drawings.

"Jim will be fine. You're no use to him if you're passing out from exhaustion." She had a point there and McCoy gradually realized this.

"Jim, sweetheart, come here..." The endearment sounded awkward on the Lieutenant's tongue, let alone without also having Jim anywhere _near_ the sentence. Uhura held out her hand to the boy, who return tightened his grip on McCoy, and looked up questioningly and said Doctor.

McCoy got on his knees in front of Jim, "Promise to do what asks?" Jim looked up with trusting eyes and nodded solemnly. McCoy sighed deeply, and gently kissed his forehead, who in return tried not to flinch. "Goodnight Jim." he mutters and leaves.

Jim hesitantly takes Uhura's hand. "He's underweight so try to get him to eat!" McCoy calls over his shoulder.

Uhura's eyes snap up to Sulu's face and apprehension settles in his stomach. "Well you heard the man! Sulu- your turn. And stop staring at him, you're freaking him out."

Sulu vaguely contemplated arguing how she knew what Jim wanted, but in the end sighed. The Captai- the kid didn't need anymore problems.

It wasn't hard to put 2 and 2 together and realize that something was wrong with Jim's childhood.

When it was decided that he helmsmen would try to coax Jim into eating, Sulu was already contemplating another mission.

He knew that something was off with Jim; and in order to squall his curiosity he was going to find out exactly what. He awkwardly contemplated that he was being rather nosy, especially for him, but that this was his captain and if something was the matter than as subordinate- no, as a friend- he felt entitled to know.

"Do what Mr. Sulu asks," Uhura told the timid child. Jim nodded and hovered awkwardly next to Sulu's helmsmen chair. Sulu barely gave him a glance instead opting to sigh and stretch before grabbing the child.

Bad idea.

Jim scrambled backwards, tripping over nothing. he banged his elbow on the floor, hard(maybe his head too), but didn't stop moving until he backed into a wall. The boy went to cradle his hurt awkwardly dragging his arm, smearing blood.

There was silence. Jim looked at the blood with horror and scrambled to clean it up with his shirt (slightly ill-fitting borrowed from an ensign with a family).

"Stop!" Sulu yelled in horror. Jim looked up like a deer caught in head-lights. the boy stuttered out unintelligible nonsense before he finally spoke.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." It was a whisper, barely audible, and fitted the child so perfectly, not that_ that_ made it remotely better. His eyes were glassy, unshed tears welling miserably in the impossible blue.

Somehow, Sulu contemplated, this was not quite what he imagined when he sought out to get Jim to talk.

He felt stares -some, he was sure, glares- on him, and realized people were waiting for him to comfort the kid, help him, do _something_.

"I... it's okay, Jim." His own voice was hesitant and not very comforting and Sulu hated himself for it.

Then Jim started crying and Sulu stared helplessly at the bridge. Chekov made an impatient noise and rised to help.

Chekov gestured for the boy to get up, which he did in a panicked flurry. "I vill take him to sickbay." Chekov sounded sure and Sulu was willing to accept any help at this point.

Chekov's face was friendly enough to be reassuring, but much more solemn than usual and lacked the excited energy that he normally wore.

The teenager and the boy began their trek hand-in-hand to med bay. Sulu eagerly caught up, wanting to clear his name and his guilt.

The three of them walked slowly; silently.

Sulu cleared his throat.

Silence.

"So, Jim," he began to- if nothing else- fill the silence. Jim's eyes snapped to his questioningly. Forgetting his original intentions Sulu desperately blurted probably to the stupidest thing he could have possibly asked. "So, how did you get that nasty bruise on your face?"

Jim's steps faltered slightly. His eyes slid to the floor in shame. There was more silence.

Chekov's voice - as soft and sweet as honey- filled the tension-ladden silence. "Answer him please, kept- Jim."

Jim's eyes welled with tears and Sulu considered retracting the question but Chekov remained determined.

".... I was being a bad boy," Jim said in a broken whisper that could pull at the strings of the Scrooge's heart, he was sure. "Mommy was upset and left again, she always leaves. Frank told me it was my fault. B-but it wasn't!" his expression changed from childish indignant to horrified self-hatred as he realized what he said.

Sulu was still reeling from the information he had just received. And despite further questions, Jim remained stoically quiet with a look of self-hatred haunting his eyes.  
**  
4) Cupcake&Chapel**

When Sulu and Chekov finally arrived in the sick-bay, Sulu was feeling guilty and relieved. Relieved because, Jesus, the Captain had been abused for who knows how long, and he really need time to digest this. Relieved because this had to be the most awkward trip to the sickbay, excluding the one with thing and the guy and the place. Guilty because he was so relieved.

It seemed like before they even fully made it in the threshold, there were cooing nurses, all armed with tricorders and lollipop(and seriously, what the hell? There couldn't possibly be so many kids that came through the sickbay that they needed a constant supply of candy.)

He noticed Jim scanning the place, carefully looking around for potential threats. It made Sulu's heart clench. Jim's eyes stopped one one figure, and his eyes widened fractionally. Sulu followed Jim's gaze to the ridiculously large Cupcake. Sulu felt himself go a little bit on edge, subtly moving to a defensive position.

He knew cupcake wasn't a baby killer or anything, but there had to be some friction, right? He'd heard the story about Cupcake and Jim in the bar (who hadn't, at this point?), on the other hand Kirk had picked Cupcake personality, and apparently they had been on civil terms.

Still, it surprised him half to death when Jim gently maneuvered out of the Nurses' grasps(They didn't try to grab him either. Apparently, while Sulu had been trying to think like a paranoid, beaten 4-year-old Chekov had still been doing and accomplishing things.) and walked right towards Cupcake, who just finished having his upper arm wrapped.

Jim stood stock still in front of the huge man, and stared at his face with such a painful intensity, it looked foreign on a child. Cupcake looked down at the child, a gentle openness in his face.

It seemed as though the whole sick-bay was holding it's breath.

Cupcake, still being careful to hold the young boy's gaze, slowly reached a hand out. Jim almost managed to conceal his flinch. "Hi, I'm Ensign Hannon. What's your name?"

Jim eye's narrowed before he finally took the large man's hand(or rather, attempted to take his hand. Jim could only really manage to grasp one finger). "Jimmy," Jim said, his voice still small and ridiculously quiet.

"You can call me Cupcake," Cupcake offered. Jim actually honest-to-god _smiled_ at that. "That's silly!" Jim said, and the whole sickbay let out a big gust of air.

Cupcake glanced back at Sulu and Chekov, "You guys go back to the bridge. I'll stay with Jimmy while he gets his arm cleaned up. That okay, Jimmy?" Jim nodded happily, and Sulu gladly took his leave. Chekov gave a half wave to the boy and left aswell.

After Nurse Chapel wrapped the boy's arm, she steadily looked at Ensign Hannon. "Why is it that he trusts you?" She asked, frustrated by the sheer amount of Jim had flinched away from her, none of them having to do with pain in the slightest.

Hannon looks awkward and uncomfortable. "I was kind of in the same boat as Jimmy, ma'am." Hannon replies. "Guess he recognizes a comrade when he see's one."

Chapel stares uncomprehendingly at the man, still shocked long after Hannon and Jim take their leave off to do God knows what, before she realizes how obvious the answer was. Well, dammit, she's a nurse not a psychologist! She realizes that instead of the guilt she was already prepared to deny, she felt anger and wonder at how two brave, valiant men grew up from terrified little boys.

5)Spock

Turns out Cupcake was taking Jim to get some food. He had planned on just getting two standard meal and giving Jimmy all the good parts (the boy was so damned skinny), but apparently Spock of all people had prepared a healthy, vegetarian(of course) meal for the boy to have.

Cupcake had bemusedly allowed Jim to be swept off by Spock, deeming the Vulcan a suitable protector. That was important to Hannon, important that the little boy knew he was safe and important that Hannon knew nothing would get to him. He had seen it all before. Quiet and scared. That had been him, been his older brother. It was people like Jimmy who motivated hi to always stick for the underdog and those in trouble(once upon a time he would have said protect them against people like Kirk. He knew better now).

By the end of Spock's power meal Jimmy was practically asleep. "You should probably take him to bed," A passing ensign hesitantly instructed. Spock nodded thoughtfully. "A most logical suggestion."

"Jim," Spock said to the young child "I'm going to bring you to 's quarters. Is that satisfactory? " Jim blearily blinked up at him. "Yes, sir." He mumbled, eyes drooping.

Spock swiftly picked up the young boy, and tried his hardest to ignore the 'Awwwwwww' that chorused from around the room.

Once he arrived to the CMO's quarter's he knocked gently. Instantly there was a curse and he was met with a scruffy Mccoy. "I am sorry to disturb you, Doctor." Mccoy looked like he wanted to comment on _that_ but thought better off it."I do not believe that we have an acceptable place for young Jim to sleep, and thought you might enjoy his company." Mccoy glared, though neither parties really knew why, and allowed Spock in.

Jim somehow managed to stay asleep through all of the jostling and movement of changing him into pajamas(_Thank god for small mercies_, Mccoy had said, and Spock hadn't understand) by the time they had successfully tucked Jim into bed, well that was when the nightmares started.

Jim had started out squirming and whimpering, but it had progressed into yelling and crying, and Spock, without truly thinking about it, had initiated a mind-meld.

_  
It hurts. The first thing that touches Spock's mind is the pain. He's hurt because Jim's hurt. Jim's small and fragile and the constant stream of horrifying abuse, mentally and physically alike, make's him want to scream. Jim stays quiet though, his mind flinging memories around in an almost desperate attempt to not remember any of them._

"Stupid," The man spits at him, spits at Jim. "Fucking worthless." the feeling of the large man's boots to Jim's fragile ribs. The feeling of seeing Sam, his big brother, watching them, unable to help, unwilling to help.

The mind meld is probably the quickest he's ever partaken. Jim is still and looks marginally more peaceful. Spock is sure he looks more perturbed than he ever has as an adult.

"Dr. Mccoy," Spock began, glancing up at the man. Mccoy's gaze is full of sadness and understanding. It's unsettling. "Doctor, I am not sure I understand the treatment of Jim as a child." Mccoy looks at him sharply. "I sure hope not." He mutters darkly.

Spock continues thickly, "On Vulcan children were prized, cherished. Biologically or not." Mccoy looks away.

"Yeah. That's the way it should be."

They don't speak of the incident again. ****

**+1 Mccoy**

Jim is back to normal, thank God, and his face is currently pressed against Bone's collarbone.

"The crew knows now," Bones tells him bluntly. Kirk tenses a bit, but looks unsurprised. "I figured," he mumbled sullenly.

Bones tilts Kirk's head up and looks him in the eye. "They don't think any less of you, y'know."

Jim makes a noncommittal noise. "I'm serious!" Bones says, well, _seriously._ Jim knows he is, and Jim is sure he'll care a lot, tomorrow. For now, though, Bones knows and Bones cares and that's enough.

They kiss and that's that (for now, and maybe forever).

**(A/N: Fixed! I had a failure Mcfailure ending. Also, I did warn for slash. Hope you enjoyed. Please, please review.)**


End file.
